Thursday, March 14, 2013

crazy in the head [poem]


What's driving me crazy is this sensation that I’m forgetting
Where I put my most recent complaint.
I'm sorry if I dropped it on your head;
see, it seemed ok at the time,
But I’m realizing it’s a harder rock to drop
Than the speck of dust I thought I picked.
There’s a ringing in my ears,
And it’s making my hair prickle against the collar of my sweater
If I listen to its siren I almost feel seduced by the sound
Until it dies somewhere behind my left ear.
These bear hugs I wait for,
Seem so far and in between the madness ringing in my head.
I sometimes think it’s my phone
Letting me know you called.
Despite the jangling of my nerves,
The unsettling acidity of my stomach,
And the tears that bully themselves past the fortress of
My waterproof mascara.
Despite my petty worrying
I'm still a long way off from home.
The solitaire on my phone will only keep me occupied
As long as the structure of my neck holds out.
I have a feeling I’ll be leaning on my ancient chins,
Long into the night, still trying to beat the score
I set so absentmindedly last summer.
When the clubs fall short, their kings and queens more pixelated
And have lost all meaning – despite my numbing fingers
And the throbbing between my eyes
I’m still thinking about the way you smell.
Somehow hating all the little things
Makes me love the big things more.
The things that always pick me up,
When you’re the one I’m falling on.