crazy in the head [poem]

What's driving me crazy is this sensation that I’m forgetting

Where I put my most recent complaint.

I'm sorry if I dropped it on your head;

see, it seemed ok at the time,

But I’m realizing it’s a harder rock to drop

Than the speck of dust I thought I picked.

There’s a ringing in my ears,

And it’s making my hair prickle against the collar of my sweater

If I listen to its siren I almost feel seduced by the sound

Until it dies somewhere behind my left ear.

These bear hugs I wait for,

Seem so far and in between the madness ringing in my head.

I sometimes think it’s my phone

Letting me know you called.

Despite the jangling of my nerves,

The unsettling acidity of my stomach,

And the tears that bully themselves past the fortress of

My waterproof mascara.

Despite my petty worrying

I'm still a long way off from home.

The solitaire on my phone will only keep me occupied

As long as the structure of my neck holds out.

I have a feeling I’ll be leaning on my ancient chins,

Long into the night, still trying to beat the score

I set so absentmindedly last summer.

When the clubs fall short, their kings and queens more pixelated

And have lost all meaning – despite my numbing fingers

And the throbbing between my eyes

I’m still thinking about the way you smell.

Somehow hating all the little things

Makes me love the big things more.

The things that always pick me up,

When you’re the one I’m falling on.